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| Monday, March 10th, 2008 | | 10:12 pm |
Wink wink nudge nudge...
Eliot Spitzer was today linked to a prostitution ring, as a client. Juxtaposed with his endorsement of Hillary, maybe David Schuster should get his job back ;) | | Monday, January 14th, 2008 | | 2:27 am |
Stegosaurus vs Velociraptor
It has come to my attention that certain people believe the velociraptor to be a dinosaur superior to the stegosaurus. I would like to set the record straight. Imagine - eight velociraptors, surrounding a stegosaurus (like in the matrix). Yes, velociraptors are fierce. Yes, velociraptors are fast. But a stegosaurus is a badass. Here's how it would go down. As the raptors begin to close in, a steady beat rises in the background. The stegosaurus dons a pair of shades as the camera zooms in for an extreme close-up. The shot frames his face, belying his only thought: little punks.... The music reaches a chest-thumping plateau, a calm but persistent tempo mirrored in his shoulders, slowly spreading throughout his massive body. The music pauses, the dinosaur waits - - and spins into action as the next beat drops. The velociraptors look on with confusion. Yes, the stegosaurus is breakdancing. He whirls and jumps, flips and spins, his spiky tail acting both as counterbalance and mace. The raptors have no chance; they never did. In futile frustration they attack, only to be driven back by the furious offensive. Knowing they've met their match, the raptors fall back. The stegosaurus executes a suicide flip, landing on his back, waiting, daring the raptors to rush in toward his exposed belly. But they know what's good for them, and slink off into the forest. The stegosaurus drinks a Tom Collins in victory. And that's why velociraptors will never be as cool as a stegosaurus. True story. | | Friday, July 13th, 2007 | | 11:18 pm |
Graduating from college is as daunting as it is liberating. Life has always been about being pushed to accomplish. Before college, parents do the pushing. During college it's the professors (at least at Olin), and parents to a lesser extent. But after graduating, it's entirely individual. Anything I'm going to accomplish in life has to be because I push myself to do it. Leading up to graduation (over a period of months, if not years), I began to understand my potential. Well, that's not quite true. Rather, I gained quite a bit of self-confidence; mainly due to the encouragement of others, sure, but I'll take what I can get. There's an old saying that goes "With great talent comes great responsibility." I don't say that in a conceited way, everyone has talent. I simply mean to say that I am confident in my ability to affect positive change, and with that confidence I also feel compelled to reach my potential. That having been said, I have NO IDEA what I want to do with my life. But, I do have some guidelines. I want to work in an environment where: Every day, I am challenged to view the world in a different way. Enthusiasm is the dominant mood. Dreams are regularly turned into reality, with focus on the original ideology. I am allowed to place no limitations on my personal potential, nor are my associates. A sense of wonder is preserved. The mission of the project is overall for the benefit of humanity. The story of my life is constantly developed, in new and (pleasantly) surprising ways. Music is consciously recognized as a primal force. Exploration of radically new ideas and a focus on the possible impossible leads to audacious goals and achievements. I'm open to suggestions =) [On a side note: I assert that any job can be approached in this manner, with minor modifications. Furthermore, I assert that making a job fit this description will dramatically improve individual, team, and corporate performance.] | | Wednesday, February 28th, 2007 | | 11:22 pm |
| | Monday, January 1st, 2007 | | 7:43 pm |
The age-old question
If everyone jumped off a bridge, would you? According to James Surowiecki you probably should. According to Chris Anderson there's a different bridge from which you'd prefer to jump. | | Monday, November 20th, 2006 | | 7:10 pm |
Another pet peeve
On the topic of teeth-grinding can't-stand-it pet peeves, may I present "Using adjectives as nouns." For example, "It's made of tasty." NO! Because tasty is NOT A NOUN. | | Monday, November 13th, 2006 | | 2:39 pm |
What's next on the hit list, apple pie?
This just in from your local Genius Weekly – “When recess was cancelled last year for the eighth-graders at Wiscasset Middle School and for seventh- and eighth-graders at China Middle School, discipline problems and injuries associated with play breaks disappeared, school principals said.”* GASP!!! If you cancel recess, problems during recess disappear?? Thank you, Captain Obvious. As teachers try to cram more and more into the school day, recess is getting shorter and shorter and school days are getting longer and longer. Soon the kindergarten day will actually be more than twenty-four hours long thanks to ‘negative recess,’ a quantum anomaly which makes a forty-minute time period seem like up to two hours in the mind of a five-year-old. Apparently these days the old adage ‘Everything I need to know I learned in Kindergarten’ is truer than ever, as yesterday Robert Tennison, 5, of Portland ME, graduated from kindergarten with a bachelor’s degree. You have got to be freaking kidding me. * From a Boston.com Article. | | Sunday, October 1st, 2006 | | 6:05 pm |
On location at Panera Bread
Much to my chagrin, Emack & Bolio's no longer has free wireless. Since wireless was half the point of driving 40 minutes to a cafe, I won't be going back. If you can't resist a good yell, go to their contact page and let them know how I feel! I am now at Panera Bread, a veritable haven of wireless and sandwiches. Actually the wireless is slow, but at least it's free! Speaking of chagrin, I wonder if all the pet peeves of everyone in the country were recorded, would it be possible to do anything at all without offending anyone? I have a feeling the answer is yes, but I bet those things would be pretty strange. How often do you hear someone say "I can't STAND it when people drink gasoline from open containera in public"? I doubt that happens often enough to be a pet peeve. So we'll pretty much just be left with things that rarely happen, and I'm guessing most of those things rarely happen for a reason. Anyway, if you ever want to see me fly off the handle (or grind about an inch off my teeth, depending on present company) just put an article in front of a proper noun (e.g., "It's a Susan!"). AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I CAN'T EVEN WRITE THAT WITHOUT GETTING SUPER PISSED. Current Mood: productive | | Thursday, April 6th, 2006 | | 11:26 pm |
| | Wednesday, February 22nd, 2006 | | 4:20 pm |
SigSys lab
SigSys lab is about what you expect. People sitting, watching Diana lecture. Nothing special. UNLESS. Unless we take a page from the book of a wise man I know (who shall go unnamed to protect his identity, though I'll be happy to give him credit if he asks me). This man has developed a certain sort of game, specifically for boring class situations. He watches people's actions and tries to forget that he knows they're thinking people, thereby allowing himself to watch people's actions without anticipating possible motives. Essentially, he thinks of them as monkeys. Who doesn't think monkeys are funny? No one. It takes a decent amount of effort to break that association in your mind, but if you succeed the results can be hilarious. Try it! | | 9:31 am |
| | Tuesday, February 7th, 2006 | | 10:28 am |
I would just like to say...
Playing baseball in space (not on a planet - in actual space) would suck. You'd always be able to catch the ball. | | Friday, January 27th, 2006 | | 8:02 pm |
Emack & Bolio's, Jamaica Plain
This cafe is great! Free wireless, cheap good coffee, kids rolling by on those sneakers with wheels in the soles... what more could you ask for? Sutee and I came here a few times last semester to study, and will probably come at least a few times this semester. Half the people here are using laptops. Jamaica Plain is a quirky little place. It's very multicultural, in an honest way that richer parts of Boston can't pull off. I highly recommend a visit to Center Street if you have the time or inclination. There's a woman on a couch next to me wearing Tuk sneakers. Are they related to another mode of transportation with the same name? It can't be a coincidence. Current Mood:  cold, but only a little | | Saturday, December 31st, 2005 | | 5:56 pm |
Bush set to sit on seat
The White House recently celebrated its fifth straight year with no oral sex. President Bush was said to be "relieved." Bush, long haunted by vivid mental images of the debauchery formerly associated with the Oval Office, has been known to cover his chair with a plastic drop cloth despite frequent cleaning by White House staff. “My predecessor was not an OB/GYN,” exclaimed an exasperated President, “and had no right to be practicing his love with women without the proper licensing.” Bush has acknowledged that the time has come for him to cast off his phobia. “My job is to, like, think beyond the immediate,” he explained. “This foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating and I need to devote the time I usually take covering my chair in the morning to more important matters.” The president also mentioned a desire to ease into his new plastic-free surroundings and was recently spotted buying a pair of Teflon-coated pants. | | Sunday, December 25th, 2005 | | 10:52 pm |
Wal-Mart lampooned!
BENTONVILLE, AR - Retailing giant Wal-Mart has announced that 25 million square feet of empty Wal-Mart buildings will be the foundation of a new operating division, named “Jail-Mart.” Wal-Mart CEO H. Lee Scott explained that “we decided to leverage the experience we have locking employees in at night” to open a national chain of correctional facilities. The American public, which long thought the empty stores to be an artifact of unethical business practices, has recognized the growing need for low-cost confinement options and has issued an apology to Wal-Mart. The apology comes in the form of a giant mixed drink – two hundred gallons of vodka and six hundred gallons of orange juice – just enough for every Wal-Mart employee to not quite get drunk. | | Thursday, December 15th, 2005 | | 9:09 pm |
Maine Retires, Moves to Florida
In a surprising move late last week, the state of Maine announced its retirement from its long-time position northeast of New Hampshire. Citing the freezing weather as a major source of consternation, Maine plans to make a permanent move to Florida. The state looks forward to affording its residents more sunny days per year. “Maine inhabitants are not, as a rule, what one might call ‘thin’,” said Maine. “Hopefully the warmer climes of Florida will encourage them to get out of the house a little more often.” Maine itself could stand to lose a few pounds, weighing in with a width of 305 kilometers. By comparison, New Hampshire and Vermont are 110 and 130 kilometers wide, respectively. Maine explained that at this point losing weight has transformed from a simple self-image issue to a real necessity. “Back in high school, I could easily have fit into Florida,” Maine says. “Now, I don’t have a chance.” The state plans to make a leisurely trip to Florida, thinning down along the way in roomier states like South Carolina and Georgia. | | Wednesday, December 7th, 2005 | | 10:45 pm |
"I'm not saying there's no such thing as genius. But if you're trying to choose between two theories and one gives you an excuse for being lazy, the other one is probably right." -Paul Graham, "What You'll Wish You'd Known""Now I know a number of people who do great work, and it's the same with all of them. They have little discipline. They're all terrible procrastinators and find it almost impossible to make themselves do anything they're not interested in. One still hasn't sent out his half of the thank-you notes from his wedding, four years ago. Another has 26,000 emails in her inbox." -Paul Graham, "What You'll Wish You'd Known"Go read the article. It's worth the five minutes. | | Thursday, July 21st, 2005 | | 8:36 pm |
An epic saga of man versus nature
I'm eating lunch right now. Well okay I finished my lunch, but I'm still "eating lunch." I had PB&J. It was really good! I'm currently in a battle to the death with my jelly. It's like "I'm so cool, I can leak out of your sandwich and soak your bread" and I'm like "nuh uh biatch." The peanut butter is on my side. I've taken to spreading peanut butter to the very edge of both pieces of bread and putting a blob of jelly in the middle. Then I 'seal' the sandwich with the peanut butter on the edges by applying a little bit of pressure. But every single day so far, the jelly has leaked out. Often it only leaks a little, but sometimes it leaks like Karl Rove on thiopental sodium. Today the jelly won, I think. It leaked quite a bit. Fortunately it didn't really make my bread very soggy. The bread is my friend too. Haha but I had the last word! I ate the jelly =P | | Sunday, May 29th, 2005 | | 9:41 pm |
New Flash!
In a stunning ceremony this evening, Jim Bell (producer of the "Today" show) received both the Pulitzer Prize for outstanding journalism and the Nobel Prize for physics. Bell has managed to evade the space-time continuum to bring us news before it happens. Proof was seen on televisions everywhere as the story of a young boy putting flowers on gravestones was advertised, complete with preview clips, as happening live TOMORROW on the Today show. When asked about this incredible development in news technology, Bell explained it was all part of a day's work. "We at MSNBC set high standards for ourselves, both in quality and timeliness of reporting. If it helps us bring news to you faster, then by golly we'll do it." Bell's breakthrough has been hailed as a "new paradigm of up-to-the-minute reporting," replacing older standbys such as wild guesses and making stuff up. This new technology is expected to pave the way for similar developments in other fields. Prospective buyers include bookies and Martha Stewart. Current Mood: Suspicious | | Sunday, April 3rd, 2005 | | 12:17 am |
Who you are is your responsibility. |
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